The Gentle Lessons I’ve Learned From Raising My Children: What I Would Have Done Differently

As a mother, it’s easy to look back on the years spent raising your children and wonder, “What would I have done differently?” I’m not talking about regrets, but rather the gentle lessons that time has taught me. These reflections have helped me grow as a parent, and I want to share them with you in the hope that you may find comfort and insight in your own journey.

I’ve learned so much through my parenting journey, and I’d love to share more with you. Type ‘lessons’ in the comments, and I’ll send you the link to read my reflections and lessons learned.

Lesson #1: Letting My Children Think for Themselves Looking back, I see how often I stepped in to provide answers or solutions for my children. Whether it was helping with homework or solving a problem, I often did the thinking for them. Now, I wish I’d allowed them more space to think through things on their own, to ask questions, and to figure things out. It’s in those moments of independent thinking that true growth happens, and I would have loved to give them that more often.

Lesson #2: Not Focusing So Much on Friendships I remember a time when I prioritized my friendships above all else. I felt that having a strong social circle was important for my happiness and sense of identity. However, as life progressed, I realized that the fleeting friendships I had in those early years didn’t hold the same value as the lasting moments I could have spent focused on my family. If I had known how precious that time with my kids would be, I would have spent less time worrying about fitting into social groups and more time cherishing my family.

Lesson #3: Visiting Grandparents More Often Looking back, I regret not making more trips to see my children’s grandparents. A two-hour drive may not seem like much, but somehow life always seemed to get in the way. Now, I see how those visits would have not only created lasting memories but also helped strengthen the bonds between generations. If you have grandparents nearby, don’t wait—take the time to make those visits. The moments are precious, and they matter more than you may think.

Lesson #4: Cherishing Quiet Family Moments Over Extracurriculars I spent years trying to keep up with the busy schedules of extracurricular activities, thinking that every event or sports practice was crucial for my children’s success and happiness. Looking back, I realize that while those activities were enjoyable, they weren’t the moments that truly mattered. The quiet evenings spent together, with no agenda, just enjoying each other’s company, were the times that helped build the strongest bonds. I wish I’d spent more time cherishing these simple moments.

Lesson #5: Serving Others and Leading by Example One of the greatest lessons I wish I had instilled earlier in my children is the value of serving others. Whether through volunteering, donating, or simply helping a neighbor in need, teaching my children the importance of serving others is something I now see as vital. Not only does it teach empathy, but it also reinforces the values that will guide them throughout their lives. Leading by example, I could have done more to teach them this lesson.

Conclusion: Parenthood is a journey of continuous learning and growth. While I have my reflections on what I wish I’d done differently, I am grateful for every experience, both the joys and the struggles. They have all shaped who we are today. And as I continue to parent, I carry these lessons forward, knowing I can always improve and grow alongside my children. The beauty of parenthood is that it’s never too late to start making those changes and to continue learning.

 What’s one lesson you wish you had learned sooner in your own parenting journey? I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments below or through email at [email protected].

Let’s reflect and grow together.